A link to a science and magic article and another update on my soul's progress toward hell

First, i have a link to an article about the history of science and how it is opposed to superstitions of magic. What i find most interesting about this article so far (not done reading) is that the author states that magic attempted to influence events by trying to reverse or stop or otherwise work against the laws of nature, while science does exactly the opposite.

http://www.fortunecity.com/emachines/e11/86/magic.html

Second, an update on the state of my religiosity. I should mention that this post is actually more "recent" than the post above/after it, because this post here describes my thoughts now, while the post after/above this one is simply a transcription of written notes about my thoughts months and years in the past. I hope that is not too confusing.


I haven't done buddhist medidation for probably a few months now. Once or twice i sat on my bed with my feet on the floor and my back straight and tried to medidate that way for just a few minutes. I don't know if that position works (Brad Warner says posture is very important, but I gather from him and KP and probably some others that the back being straight is the main thing). I didn' do too well in those half-ass sessions as far as concentrating.

The question for me now is not whether i am a buddhist, because i know i'm not. The question is whether i should try to be a buddhist. In my boredom and dissatisfaction with buddhism, i've read a little on the Net here and there about, among other things, Aleister Crowley and Thelema. I also read the book Strange Angel, about rocket scientist Jack Parsons' involvement with Crowley shit. Don't worry though; i'm certainly not a disciple of that guy. I don't think it's wise to take advice on spiritual/mental discipline from a heroin addict. In addition -- dispite being far from "the wickedest man in the world" -- Crowley was not very much of an ethical paragon; he was kind of a vain jerk. Most troubling, he abused his power as head of the OTO; Strange Angel reveals how Crowley got rid of one OTO chapter leader by blatently inventing a "prophecy" that the man was a reincarnation of a god and had to go on a vision quest, thus exiling him. Perhaps more pertinent to Crowley's status as a spiritual advisor, he did not say much -- and said some things contradictory and some things troubling -- about ethics, which is the cornerstone of any spirituality i'd want to be into. A major part of my investigation into this stuff was not just the desire for religious direction as such, as much as it was scholarly curiosity and a desire to research religious/metaphysical takes on the duality between individual and community, on which i plan to write more. By the way, i found a pretty interesting article on Crowley (for whatever it's worth) here: http://www.rawilsonfans.com/articles/GreatBeast.htm It is what it is.

All this, of course, in addition to "magick" being a load of bullshit*. Even if magic were real, i do not think it would be spiritually healthy to use because of the major possibility (in that hypothesis) of abuse, or at least the use of magic for selfish, unspiritual ends. My spritual goal is to learn how to walk through the world in ethical harmony, not find out how to voodoo up the stock market. Nonetheless, in my made-for-TV rootlessness i looked into various other magic-related takes on religion, because let's face it; for a hippie like me, there's really only two options: buddhism/hinduism or some version of what's essentially wicca. Man, a big part of me hopes all my Christian friends don't read this; they'd freak out and they'd be even more assured i need a big-ass dose of Jesus, a gospel suppository. I can assure them that my scholarly interest in the dreaded spiritual smorgasbord does not stem from the irritations of demons from a Frank Piretti novel. In fact, a major part of my investigation into this stuff was not just the search for religious direction as such, as much as it was both scholarly curiosity and a vague plan to research various religious takes on the whole question of "individual and community" for the sake of further philosophical blog babbling of Babylon.

Altogether, for now i've decided to hold onto the teachings and mental mini-practices of buddhism that i know i agree with; that is, basically trying to be a compassionate person and realizing anger and compulsive desires for things cannot be allowed to rule me. When i get angry, i (try to) tell myself it's not skillful to act on my anger in that situation, and when i feel the need to have shit that will be detrimental to my spiritual standing, i (try to) tell myself the desire for it is no big deal and that i'm not gonna die without it. I believe, so far as i have to to get through the day, that the long arm of the universe bends toward justice, and that forgiveness is possible if we try to make amends and try hard to do better next time. (yes, and that humans are innately sinful, don't freak out). I believe (despite not putting it into practice) that THE REVOLUTION IS EVERY BREATH, whatever that means. I believe that i should do good and not do bad, and have ideas about what that means in everyday life that are not, i think, too much different from what the average person of either Christian or secular default-American understands to be ethical.

*at least, the unequivically supernatural stuff, of course, which i understand is not really emphasized today and usually dismissed as false even by magic groups. As far as the "wishing really hard to get money/ heal the sick/ find a date" stuff, i am inclined at the moment to consider that at least as good as bullshit, at least so far as i don't expect God to give me what i want when i pray for it. You see, that wishing type of magic is more or less indistinguisable from petitionary prayer, which i understand traditional Christians to believe very strongly in. I've prayed the Lord's Prayer ALMOST every night i can think of (except when i stay the night somewhere other than home) for probably several years, and as part of that, i do ask God to "give us this day our daily bread" -- which for me includes healing my dad's cancer and used to include having my now-safe-at-home friend Chris come back safe from Iraq. I don't know and cannot prove one way or the other if either prayer or hippie magic can influence events; i cannot prove it because i strongly suspect a test of such things would not reveal any statistically clear findings one way or the other regarding prayer/magic versus none on say, a patient getting better. I thank God that Chris is home safe and that my father has a higher-percentage chance of living a year than he used to; i find it spiritually healthy to attribute good things that happen to God in retrospect -- since after all, they were, as far as we theists and semi-theist optimist-agnostics know. Just because God was responsible for an event, however, does not mean that your prayer (or spooky ritual) was responsible for influencing God's Will regarding the matter. That in turn doesn't mean we stop praying for things, of course; we just don't tap our foot waiting for what we asked for because we know the statistics prove nothing, and besides, it's rude.
Perhaps Zen master Taisen Deshimaru said it better:

"In some religions people are always trying to acquire magic powers but those are not true religions ... 'To want to acquire magic powers is an egotistical desire, trivial, and ultimately of no importance. It's no different from wanting to become a prestidigitator or a circus artist. Religion is not a circus."

-- Taisen Deshimaru, from page 76 in the book "Zen Master: Practical and Spiritual Answers from the Great Japanese Master."